They say things happen in threes...

OK. At a cost of about R45 000, the bulk of our worldly possessions is due to be shipped to our new home. In a 20ft container. On a ship. Over and above that is the insurance cost; 3.75% of the value of the goods – give or take, R13 000. The crew will arrive on Monday (22 Sept), spend two days packing/wrapping/stacking the stuff we're hauling over there, and a third day packing the newly-packed stuff into the 1 000 cubic metre container itself.

So. Three days of complete unrest in a household which has, naturally, spent the last three months in complete idyll; that will, by then, have offloaded the last of its three dogs; and be wondering what to do with its three remaining cats. The fish are another story altogether; I have no qualms about flushing those little free-loaders.

But let none persuade you otherwise people: this is upheaval at its unadulterated best. I'm sure the experience is different for every family, but here's how it's unfolding for us. We're not taking everything. Some of it is staying behind to furnish the house we're renting. In some ways this is easier. It means that we will have far less junk on the other side, and gives us the opportunity for a real, cathartic purge.

Herein, however, squats the toad... Because we're not packing the boxes ourselves, and may not be around every second of the packing days, we need to separate what goes from what stays so that those who will be packing, wrapping and stacking know what to do with which. This means sorting the contents of the entire house. This goes, this stays, not sure about that. Will that even work in Oz? What the hell do you mean I can't take my guitar magazines? You haven't made a smoothie in three years! I am so taking the espresso machine! It's getting funner by the day, and it's not even the new iPod Touch.

Come next Thursday, we'll have a relatively empty house, be out about sixty thou, and have a month and a half to go 'til D-Day. But all is not doom and gloom. Once all is packed, it's just the countdown to go really.

Until next time, I have a Renault Megane II 1.6 Dynamique Hatch for sale, with just 28 000kms on the clock, good condition, finance and service plan available through AA Autobay, R105 000 negotiable. Also the balance of a Vodacom Talk 240 contract with a Sony Ericsson K850i 5mp HSDPA3.6 phone to transfer, which is otherwise going to cost me R11 000 to cancel. And three cats, free to good homes.

They say things happen in threes. But does everything have to happen in threes all at once?