This time, three weeks from now…

...I’ll be on a Qantas jet plane, somewhere between here and there, wife and kids in tow. Since the last post, not much has happened; we went away for a week, I’ve had another seizure, and we’ve more or less homed all our pets. So I’ll just use this post to do pretty much what I said I’d do, and maybe elaborate here and there.

Presenting Dom’s Most Frequently Asked Questions, and The Answers You Should Have Prepared:

Why Are You Leaving?
This is a goody. You, being unique and beautiful, will have your own unique and beautiful reasons. I found an especially moving account here. My own reasons are as follows…
1) I would rather go and be able to come back, than not go and not be able to at all. (This is a particularly handy one to haul out in any situation. Not only will it get most heads nodding, a good many folk will actually finish the sentence for you.)
2) I want to give my children every possible opportunity to thrive, and I’m not convinced this is the place for that to happen, given the slowly declining standards of education and training in this country, that I do so dearly love.
3) I want to fish with my brother again.
4) Crime. Now, before you jump down my throat with ‘there’s crime all over the world’, allow me to clarify. I’m not leaving because there is crime in South Africa. I am leaving because my family and I, although obviously not us exclusively, are targets for crime in South Africa. (I also believe the government is not, despite its protestations to the contrary, directly doing enough to combat one of the primary causes of the situation; the vast and unmanageable levels of poverty in South Africa.) And on that note, if you’re reading this and thinking of leaving yourself, and if crime is your number one reason for leaving South Africa, please be under no illusion that the country of your destination will be crime-free. Because your first break-in or mugging will probably result in you turning tail and heading for home. But if it comes to that, don’t feel bad; you won’t be the first, and hey. At least you’ll be alive.

What Are You Going To Miss The Most? (Note, ‘What’ not ‘Who’.)
Lots. Probably the bush, mostly. Yes, every country has beautiful scenery and unique wildlife but, here in Africa, we have something unique you won’t find anywhere else. We have the Big Five and the Little Five. In Oz, the premier predator is a wild dog with a tendency for being blamed for eating small children. Oh, and deadly sting rays. Look, don’t get me wrong. It’s a beautiful country, and big parts of it will kill you just as quick as big parts of Africa. But you just can’t replace the thrill of seeing lion, leopard, or cheetah in the wild. Or the ubiquitous lilac breasted Roller, for that matter. I guess I’m about to find out.

But this is also a colourful and vibrant country, and I’m going to miss that sense of something always being on the go.

What Are You Going To Miss The Least?
A friend of mine recently returned from a couple of weeks in one of South Africa’s more ‘backwater’-type towns. The kind of town where the biggest news is what festivals are on that weekend, who’s playing in the pub this Friday, you get the picture. Turning the radio on when she got back to Joburg, and suddenly having to re-acclimatise to Joburg news was an eye-opener for her. Her story was an eye-opener for me, too; in short, I’m not going to miss the daily onslaught of violence, intolerance, and moral decay to which I’ve become so accustomed. Nor am I going to miss driving down Joburg’s streets and feeling guilty at not handing over my earnings to the occupants of every other street corner.

Will You Still Support The Springboks?
At this point not even the Springboks are supporting the Springboks – just ask ‘Puke’ Watson. But me, I’m cut from green and gold cloth. Some of my so-called friends have already disowned me for moving to Australia, and that’s their prerogative. They don’t play much rugby union in Victoria, but when the Bokke do play The Wannabes at the Telstra Dome, I’ll be the one madly waving a banner reading “BOKKE! FREE ME!”